Funny Friday: Flies.

So today is Funny Friday because I say so, and it’s a lame title with a cheap use of alliteration, but that’s what happens when you are a mom, you just get lazy with some things (like changing the batteries in the smoke detector, or sex).  Take it or leave it.  I especially like this Wikipedia reference on alliteration in different languages:  “Swahili: Wale wanawake wawili waliula wali wa liwali wao (those two brides ate the rice of their confidants)”  But I digress.  Don't lose me here, it gets better.

So I not only succeeded in using alliteration for my Friday series, but I furthered the alliteration by choosing a topic that also started with “F,” namely, flies (see, better?).  Flies are what I am going to talk about because I got them on my brain.  Literally, they are sitting on my cranium right now as I type.

We have some spastic ones inside my house because of the kids being in and out, opening and closing the door, and I think the flies came in because they are really interested in seeing my book collection.    Flies make me so anxious because they are so anxious. I tried feeding them some of my lexapro covered in peanut butter.  I know, good idea, right?  But wrong.  Perhaps I will try xanax next time.  I have a message for you flies:  Calm down, flies, life is short.  Especially your lives, because you are insects.  Stop and smell the roses, but stop smelling my dang food and then spitting in it.

I have fears of my home becoming a third world country where flies love to multiply and make homes on peoples eyelashes.  But the worst part is that the people just give up caring, like they don’t even bat them away when they are landing on their eyeball.  I refuse to stop caring!  I noticed though that if I turn the TV on, they like to land on the eyelashes of people on TV.  Take that suckers!!!!!  Sorry Hollywood, sign of the times.

So my question for you today is:  what is annoying to you that starts with an “F”?