Funny Friday: Shop til you drop.

Taking three small kids shopping.  Whew!  That sentence was exhausting just to type, now imagine putting it into action.  You do the math:  two hands plus three children equals something using imaginary numbers.  More like imaginary arms.  I have a magnet that says, "If evolution were true, moms would have three arms."  And don't even get me started on the winter months with the snowsuits!

Somehow, when going to the grocery store, kids seem to have eight arms a piece.  They are like mini- Vishnus in diapers.  I find myself saying, "Take the sugar o's out of the cart," "Put back the vat of high-fructose corn syrup," "Yes, we can get the french fries.  I won't turn down french fries."  I'm a sucker.

It's not just groceries, it's other stores too that prove difficult.  As a warning to all moms:  Do not take three small children to Kohl's in the early afternoon (they are having a sale, ya know).  Lots of crotchety old women like to be all judgey because your children are running amuck through the racks and yadda yadda yadda.  And the croctchety old women like Kohl's because they sell ugly Christmas sweaters, so they won't be shopping elsewhere anytime soon.  Because those things sell like hot cakes.  Or should I say, fruitcakes? (rimshot)

Moms with three kids:  you know you plan your shopping trips around which stores have the double carts so you don't have to whip out the buggy.  This Walmart does...that Walmart doesn't.  All Aldis do.  And if you can hit a drive-thru on the way for some coffee? (because caffeine becomes it's own food group as a mother...)  Golden.  You've made this shopping trip a success.

The best part of a shopping trip?  It wears your children out.  The worst part?  It also wears you out.

I like to teach my children valuable life lessons while shopping.  Lessons like, if you walk in front of someone I will yank your coat to get you on the correct side of the aisle.  Or another important one, if you reach for candy while we are checking out, I will give you dirty looks that say "No, you didn't..."  I will also let my kids see me do magic:  here is some money....now it's gone!  And it has been replaced by....wait a minute, who put these sugar o's in the cart?!!!!

What are your shopping experiences like with kids in tow?