Touchy Topic Tuesday: In the mourning.

The winter is a fitting time to lament here the suburbs of Chicago.

I'm looking outside right now where the wind is fiercely blowing an intimidating wintry mix of snow and ice.  I like it when the weather matches my mood.

Today I'm mourning with Courtney who lost her son Tripp a few days ago.

I let myself cry for them for a long time yesterday.  I did not personally know them, but as a mother, my heart hurt for Courtney and the family.  I wondered if I was being dramatic in mourning for people I had never met.

I am a news junkie.  I love reading stories of all sorts from all over the world.  Even the ones that are sad.  When people hear this about me, they often retort, "I don't keep up with the news, there are too many depressing things in the world."

There are too many depressing things in this world.  But I believe there is a time to deal with these serious issues, things that are unsettling, nerve-wracking, and heart-wrenching.  It's okay to meet them.  We need not dwell on these things all the time.  But we need to learn how to deal with it in the moment as we mature and grow as human beings.

It doesn't mean we have to be Debbie Downer.  It simply means that we confront these issues as they come, acknowledge our feelings and the way others feel, and decide what needs to be done about it.  Too often we are a people who are pleasure seekers, avoiding the hurtful things because sometimes they are just too messy and demanding.  And sometimes we are confronted with really ugly moments outside of our choices, and we deal with the pain by covering it up or numbing ourselves to it in various ways.

Here are ways I have learned to cope in those sorts of situations:

1)  Let yourself be sad.

You don't need to feel guilty for crying.  It is usually an appropriate response.  Allow yourself to "mourn with those who mourn." (Romans 12:15)  Recognize there is a "time to weep" and a "time to mourn." (Ecc. 3:4)

2)  Have something to keep you balanced

I think part of the problem of being sucked into the vortex of depression is feeling like there is nothing this world has to offer.  When encountering something disturbing, and all seems hopeless, turn to something that can make you laugh.  Reminding yourself of the positive things in life is not escaping the issue, but rather striking a healthy balance (Ecc 3:4 also affirms a "time to laugh" and a "time to dance"). 

3) Pray

Often when I read something that breaks me, I'm allowed an opportunity to bring it before a big God who cares.  Most of the time I can only utter a few words in my distress, but I believe these can be the most powerful words I can say because they are so authentic and compassionate.

What ways do you deal with emotional pain?