"I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge."
-Paula Poundstone
"What's so funny about losing weight?"
-My mom
"Why are these human women always comparing themselves to me? It hurts my feelings."
-A beached whale
I went a little unconventional this year and thought perhaps I'd start my New Years Resolution not on the New Year and not call it a New Years Resolution. It will just be called that "thing I do." Then there is less obligation to feel bad if I don't reach my goal.
I'm hoping to lose (not loose) some weight and in the end look like Halle Berry. Skin and all. Do you think I'm setting myself up for failure?
How may I reach this incredible goal? I'm considering doing a cleanse. Hahaha, no, no. Not really, I just always want to say that because it sounds so cool and hip and fit. Like I live in Portland.
Here is a list of my favorite things to eat/drink that I will try to avoid during my thing I do:
1) Peanut M&Ms
2) Starbucks peppermint mochas
3) Bananas with globs of peanut butter
4) Pizza
5) Bread
6) Pretty much everything
I cannot (yet) give up coffee with cream and sugar. I've tried and tried different types of stevia, but they all seem to have that bitterness that comes like when drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth.
I also plan to exercise, other than toting around three kids all day. With that, you'd think I'd look like Ms. Berry by now. I guess for some people that works, and others takes a bit more effort. I've also heard that the medicine I take makes me gain/retain weight. Oh, and probably all that food I've been eating.
My goal is by May 3 (my son's birthday) to lose 20 pounds, which will be my pre-pregnancy weight. Feel free to encourage me, share your own journey, or tell me a joke.
Here's to skinny jeans and single chins!
